Not for me

It's been a while since I have felt the need to write, but there really has been so much that God is doing in my life that I couldn't possibly bore you with it all on here. Something that has been really tugging at my heart is the unveiling of my true identity. Being at Eastern, I've felt this tug to be true to myself and not hide behind the pack, but be an essential limb to the pack. And by pack, I mean God's army. I've had to step out of my comfort and make myself vulnerable. I've had the lowest low's and God has brought me out of them with peace and joy. I am seeing what this life is all about and it's not about me at all. I still feel like I don't truly believe it's not about me because I feel selfish a lot of the time, but God is beginning to reveal to me what He is calling me to be. I've seen the true importance of prayer and how much it has impacted my life, others lives, and my relationship with God. As of right now, I still feel so much fear, sorrow, happiness, joy, and so much more. But God calls us to feel that sorrow, but come out with joy and rejoice in His name. This life is not easy at all, and a friend let me know that it's going to get harder, but I can't turn back now. I've seen too much and know too much to even try to deny God. He has become the reason I wake up, the reason I cry, the reason I sleep in hope for tomorrow. I listen. I speak. He has become everything and I know people will look to me and see a Jesus FREAK, but that can't get me down. This life is meaningless and I intend to bring fire to this earth. I intend to live to my life humbly for God. I intend to transform by being. I intend to be the best I can be, but not for me, for Him. I am learning so much and I truly believe this learning will never stop. How exciting is that?