Living

It's my last day in Maryland. I'll be heading off to Eastern University tomorrow. My emotions about this new part in my life are so bipolar. I feel excited and ready, but then I think about the details and think about the future, and I get freaked out. I've realized how much of my emotions have been due to me thinking and putting expectations for my future. I'm trying so hard to give my future to God and giving Him the control, but I've learned that it shouldn't be hard. If I truly trusted that He has it all in His hands then I would relax a little. This waiting around part of my life is getting frustrating and making me so anxious. I can't seem to get it in my head that everyday is life, not the future and my career. I've seen that I just want to love God and love people all my life. That's all I want to do, and I don't need to feel anxious about what God has planned for me because I need to do it everyday. I need to remember that He has my life in His hands and I don't need to be so uptight about knowing and just live.