I have just returned to Redding from a two week break in Maryland for Christmas. It was so wonderful to be back home and to rest. It felt like a reset button was pushed for me. God did some amazing things while I was home too. By the end of my break I was ready to get back to learning more about pursuing my call to live for Jesus.
I came back Friday and was quickly thrown back into Redding life by beginning my homework that is due this week that I purposely neglected over break. I felt quite guilty about it. I realized by me making the decision to neglect my homework, I couldn't see people or do things I wanted to and I just felt angry at myself for making stupid decisions or being too lazy. I went to church Sunday night and we arrived a tad bit late and it appeared that it was baptism Sunday! The people being baptized were lined up on stage sharing their testimonies and I was being touched by God about their encounters with God's grace and love. At that moment, I realized how mad I was at myself for not being good enough or being "stupid" and I felt God's love for me. I knew my homework didn't matter or the amount of time I spent in my pajamas....what mattered to Him was that I was accepting His love. By me condemning myself, I wasn't accepting His love and grace. Sometimes when I pray over people I say to them, "There's nothing you can do that can separate you from the love of God." I think that is such an important thing to say because that has been the most freeing thing that God has shown me. Humans are always trying to do more and be better, but with God it is just the opposite. I don't have to do anything, I just have to enjoy being His daughter.
At Bethel, the baptisms are done while worship is going on. While worship was playing, I'm not sure if a certain song was playing that prompted me to go, but I felt that dedicating my life to being submerged in His love for as long as I live was a good way to start my 2013. While I was waiting in line, I felt God say to me, "I am your God, I am your King, I am your Father. Trust in Me that I will provide everything." I was so overcome with His love. I felt like I was floating in the goodness and assurance of His voice. Him saying this took me a step further in realizing what resting in His love meant....it means not worrying and knowing that a loving Father provides everything because He wants to.
I have felt ever since I came to Bethel that I would never be the same, but this moment was a prophetic declaration over my life to live with all my mind, my heart, and my body for God. When I walking into the water I was thinking how I wanted to experience every part of that moment. I wanted to feel the anticipation of waiting to go under, I wanted to feel my body being immersed in the water, and I wanted to feel the joy of being raised to life. And I DID! It was an intimate experience and a miraculous one.
The revelation of the Father's love that I received is for you as well. "Freely you have received, freely give." Matthew 10:8b. I release my testimony to you to have the same encounter, but better. I pray you receive God's grace and you experience His loving acceptance. He created you, so why would He not accept you? He is the perfect Father.
