Freedom

The Lord is showing me where He is bringing freedom into my life and I am so filled with joy. My spirit is just crying with relief. It's weird because I wondered how I would receive freedom from this one thing that was obvious to me, and things just start clicking. It's a weird experience. I am so excited to get to know my Father more and more. He is so faithful. He is giving me so much hope. I want people to feel this way and receive freedom!

Child

I feel naive. Stupid. Betrayed. Alone. Deceived.

I feel like a child.

I feel like I have no idea the pain and hurt people go through.

I feel childish for letting something so small effect me the way it is now.

I feel as though I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.

Give me strength, Lord.

Am I getting in way too over my head?

Lord, show me what I am capable of.

Teach me, Lord.

Hold me as a child. Teach me as a child. But grow me into a strong and mature woman.

Living Rich

I've been thinking about my blog lately. I've been thinking, "I wouldn't even know where to begin." But I don't really think it matters. I've also been thinking about the reason for blogging. I have my journal that I write in, so do I really need to display my feelings to the cyber world. The thrill (for lack of a better word) of blogging is me opening up my creative side.
This summer, I have noticed my craving for creativity. I've been trying to pick up the guitar, and the egg shaker (which I still haven't mastered). I found my film camera. I love going downtown Annapolis to take pictures, journal, and meet people.
I guess I noticed that I'm frustrated with doing nothing. I want to say I learned the guitar. I want to say I went skydiving. I would love to say I hiked the Inca Trail to see the glorious Machu Picchu. I want to say I graduated with a degree in....well, still not sure about that one. But I want to enjoy things in this world. I want to challenge myself. I mean it all is meaningless in the end, right? But it's laughter. It's happiness. I don't want to be complacent. I don't need these things to reach happiness, but I believe God gave me the desire to take risks and enjoy a challenge.
But. What is it in me that is just tired? That doesn't want to put forth the effort because the things of this world lead to sin. What is it in me that just wants to stay in and watch a movie? I guess I've reached the old age of 19. That must be it.
Hell no. Excuse me. But no. I'm frustrated. I've found thrill and excitement in God. Is that bad? NO! Is that a boring life? According to me, no. When I hear his voice, and am positive it's His voice -- that is when I feel most alive.
I have learned though, that God speaks to me when I am challenging myself. I don't need to stay in and hide myself from this world.
I don't have to live under condemnation! Hallelujah! Because Christ gave me life. He has given me a greater life. Someone said to me, "Sounds like you're living the rich life." And I couldn't have agreed more. I have never felt so alive. And free.
That is what I want to share with people. The rich life.
love, em